How to find your truth?
What is your truth? Have you ever thought about it? We live such busy lives that having five minutes to stop and think sounds like a real luxury, so worth it though. In this post I invite you to take some time to think about your truth. Are you making decision on the basis of always saying Yes, are you scared to say no?
Do you take the expected route often, when deep down you know that this isn’t your choice or decision? To start speaking your truth you need to know yourself well, determine what are your values and celebrate your strengths.
What are your strengths?
Remember the dreaded job interview question, what are your strengths and weaknesses? I used to hate answering these questions as the aim was to turn your weakness into a positive trait, it felt so fake, everyone has got weaknesses why not embrace them but that’s another matter. We’re not doing a job interview here, we’re finding out what’s to celebrate about you, where do you stand out, what gets you the most excited. By knowing where your strengths lie you will be able to make better decisions and it will be easier to say no. You won’t hesitate to ask for help if you’ve got to do something that is not your forte. Embrace what feels natural to you, write them down and value how you can make a difference to others with the power within in you. We often take who we are for granted and forgetting that we have something of value to share. Write your values down and be grateful for what makes your core values.
What are your values?
What do you value most in your life? Is it time spent with the family, climbing the career ladder, be creative?Use the values to filter every decisions you have to make. I.e You’ve been offered the opportunity to take part in a charity challenge that will take you away from home for two weeks? If family is your highest value, are you ready to give up two weeks away from your family?
If you’re in the middle of complementing an important report at work and your friend invites you out? I doubt you will say yes if your career is your highest value? Find your values first, this could be financial independence, freedom, enjoying a travel lifestyle what ever feels right for you. Balance the decisions you have to make against these values. Saying no won’t feel so bad anymore if the request doesn’t fit in your values.
Don’t do what’s expected from you.
Now that you know your strengths and values use them as a filter to go through every decision you have to make, did you say yes too often, while you knew well enough that you wanted to say no? You said yes because either you wanted to please the other person, you always say yes, people expect you to stay yes. Yes sounds like the easy path but when you think about how much time you’ve lost doing stuff you didn’t really want to do, not so much.
Don’t say yes anymore just because people expect you to. If someone asks you straight away just say let me think over it and come back to you tomorrow. If you’re unsure make a list of pros and cons.
Having the confidence to say no will free up your time and life, an essential tool you want to master from now on.
Have you been guilty of saying yes all the time. How are you coping learning to say no? Share your comments!
PS. If you need some help to define your personality I can recommend the Enneagram Institute Personality test which will give you further guidance about your truth.